Late Night Conversations x 2

(While lying in bed, in the dark, as The Husband is about to fall asleep.... this is when I have my deepest thoughts.)

Me: "Hey."

Husband: (clearly annoyed) "What?"


Me: "I get confused. What's the difference between a paraplegic and a quadriplegic?"

Husband: "Are you being serious?"

Me: (slightly offended by The Husbands total disregard for my deep question) "What? It's confusing sometimes, don't you think its confusing?"

Husband: "What does 'quad' mean?"

Me: "I don't know."

Husband: "Think."

Me: "Um.... (thinking) Four? Four."

Husband: "Good. So a quadriplegic is?...."

Me: (light bulb) "Someone who can't use their FOUR limbs!"

Husband: "Good.. and that would make a paraplegic?...."

Me: "Someone who can't use TWO of their limbs!!!"

Husband: (dripping with sarcasm) "You're SO smart."

Me: "Rude."

(After some more time pondering....)

Me: "So... if 'quad' means 'four' ..... that must mean that 'para' means 'two'. So... if someone can't use just ONE of their limbs... does that make them an unoplegic?"

(Insert seemingly endless uncontrollable laughter from The Husband here.)

Husband: "Seriously?"

Me: "Yes, seriously. 'Uno' means 'one', and 'plegic' means.... 'can't use' or something like that... So, logically, a person who 'can't use' 'one' of their limbs would be an 'unoplegic'."

Husband: "Or, more appropriately, you could say they have a BROKEN ARM or a BROKEN LEG."

Me: (rolling eyes...) "Semantics. It's a 'po-tay-to', 'po-tah-to' sort of thing.... Unoplegic, broken leg. Same difference."

Husband: "Good one babe. Good one."

And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is our relationship in a nutshell. Clearly, I'm the brains of this operation.