The first person I told about my pregnancy (besides The
Husband) was my little brother. At the
time, he was serving an LDS mission on the island of Tahiti. We had been writing e-mails back and forth
each week for the past year and a half.
I would mourn the absence of a baby, and he would buoy me up with
encouraging words and positive scriptures like only a good little missionary
brother can do. I knew that I had put a
major burden on him, sharing my infertility woes, so I wanted him to be the
first to know that he no longer needed to worry, that our prayers had been
answered.
I sent him an e-mail:
“Monday, November 28th, 2011
Hey Tay,
How are you doing? I
am wonderful! So, first things first:
PLEASE NOTE THIS IS TOP SECRET!!! …. I’m pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!
I haven’t told anyone in the family yet, just you. I will probably tell everyone on Christmas,
but I thought you would probably like to know.
SO… make sure you don’t spill the beans, ok?”
The e-mail continues on to ask about his mission and telling
him how much I love him, etc.
His response back?
Probably one of my favorite e-mails of all time:
“Monday, November 28th, 2011
Oh My Goodness!!!!!!!
I want to cry and poop and pee and scream and yell with
happiness!!!!! I am so so happy for you
Torrey!!!! I really almost started to
cry when I heard the news!! I have been
praying for you for so so long it seems like and I love it when prayers are answered!! Take care of little Taylor for me! Haha just kidding. You can name it whatever you want. I love you Torrey!! I am going to be an UNCLE!! Uncle Mully… I love the sound of that!”
Great, huh? I have a
great family. I truly felt like my sweet
little brother was just as thrilled with my news as I was. I mean, c’mon, the e-mail speaks for itself.
I had my first appointment the next week. Because I had conceived using Clomid and I
have PCOS, mine was considered a “high risk” pregnancy. By my calculations, I was only 5 weeks along,
which is very VERY early to get into the doctor. But he wanted me to come in right away.
I was very nervous to go to my appointment. Every negative scenario raced through my
mind: Ectopic Pregnancy, Molar Pregnancy, Miscarriage. I shared my secret news with my best friend,
who also happens to have PCOS. “You may
not be able to see a lot,” she warned me, “Don’t freak out if you can’t see a
heart beat yet, its still so early.”
That’s when I started to pray. I
prayed and prayed and prayed that I would be able to see a little heart beat.
When I arrived at the doctor’s office, I was greeted with
pure love and joy. Most everyone there
knew me and my back ground. So, when I
arrived for my first pre-natal appointment, they were almost as excited as I
was. “She’s one of our PCOS girls”, the
nurse explained to another new nurse.
The doctor prepped me for the ultrasound and then the fun
began.
“First let’s look at your ovaries. See that cyst there? That means that you ovulated!”
I was dying… yeah yeah… I ovulated, we get that. Where’s the
baby?!?!
Then the doctor moved on to my uterus. I held my breath and said another little
prayer.
“This,” my doctor said, “Is your baby.” I examined the screen. All I saw was a little round lump, about the
size of a grape (really it was the size of a sesame seed when not magnified). It wasn’t very cute… but then I saw it… a
most beautiful sight… a heart beat. A
beautiful little heart beating away, like a blinking light, on the screen. Hooray!
A heartbeat! My prayers had been
answered. A little tear trickled down my
cheek.
“A heart beat.” my doctor said, “That’s a very VERY good
sign.”
He then checked to make sure there weren’t more little
embryo’s hanging out in my uterus. But
all I could think about was that gorgeous beating heart.
My doctor explained that once a heartbeat has been seen, the
risk of miscarriage drops to less than 5%.
It was such a relief to hear that.
My little grape (sesame seed) was going to be ok.
The next thing I needed to do was announce the happy news to
my family.. and so I began making plans.
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