Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Sexy AND Chubby

Christmas is coming and Torrey's getting FAT! Ok, not really, but honestly, how is a girl supposed to keep a trim figure with goodies galore tempting her? I'm at a loss here. I have always had a sweet tooth and I think I'm now developing a serious addiction to Peppermint Ice cream, plus I've made a terrible discovery... I can BAKE! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's true, I bake!

This week I've made it a goal to bake some kind of sweet every night to take to the neighbors... at least, that's my excuse. Because we all know where the Rolos Cookies and Cinnamon Rolls are going to end up... my butt and thighs. Sigh.

I'm so in the mood to look amazing for Christmas. I want to wear something sexy just becaue I can. I want everyone I know to say "Damn girl!"... except, probably everyone I know WON'T say that, even if I do... I hang out with Momony-Mormons, remember? And, somehow I have a feeling that there is nothing quite as revolting as a chubby girl wearing clothes that don't quite fit, with two fists full of double fudge brownies and chocolate sauce dribbling down her chin, trying to be seductive. (Shudder)

But, here's my question, can't a person be sexy AND chubby? When did big boobs and curvy hips go out of style anyway? I'm positive I was born in the wrong century. Remember when being "soft" was a status symbol, a symbol of wealth?! I'm not saying that we need to promote chubbiness, heavens knows we already have an obesity epedemic... But, what about the women out there, like me who, even with diet and exercise, can't squeeze into anything below a size 6? When are we going to be on the cover of Vogue? When are we going to grace the Victoria's Secret fashion show runway? When? When will we love love-handles again?!!??!!

I digress. I can't help it though, how can one discuss chocolate mousse with out mentioning their "junk in the trunk"? The funniest part about this whole post, is even after all of my fretting, fraying and complaining, I'm still going to eat peanut brittle until I get a tummy ache, I know myself. And, guess what? I'm going to like it. And guess what else? I'm going to slip... no, squeeze myself into the sexiest thing I own while I eat carmelitas, because, belive it or not, I am sexy AND chubby.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Damn Girl!!!!


I'm not mormony-mormon, so I can say that, and I will, and I did.


Amen, sister friend!!

Unknown said...

oh yeah, i typed that as I ate shortbread cookies with eggnog!

Brittany said...

Torrey! I love this post! I recently bought a 1 POUND BAG.. yes a full pound of sour patch watermelons...just because there they were staring at me on the shelf...and ate them all myself! I mean, my tongue was falling apart the next day, and my stomach hurt for hours, and I felt so guilty I ran about 5 miles, but they were SOOOOO good!

PS-Congrats on your new found skill...you've come a long way from the days of scrambled eggs.