Monday, June 2, 2008

Fertile Frenzy



Yesterday the husband and I attended a "Young Married People's Potluck" planned by our outgoing and incredibly social back-yard neighbors.  Yay.  

Now, I'll be honest, the Husband and I don't have a ton of married friends.  We enjoy each other's company and really don't crave the company of other couples all that often.  

So, when we first received the scrapbook inspired invitation to the potluck, I was entirely opposed to attending such a pretentious party.  I mean, I can do without social obligations.  But, after much consideration and self inspection, I decided that we've been much too hermitical and aloof lately, so, the "Young Married People's Potluck" it was.  After all, what was the worst that could happened?  At the very least it would be a good opportunity to... expand our horizons... right?  And expand our horizons, it certainly did.

We arrived at the gathering 15 minutes late.  Fashionably late, I thought, but as soon as we walked around the corner, we were greeted with "It's about time!  Now we can finally start the party!"  Yes.  They had waited for us.  And, Yes.  We were the last to arrive at the engagement.

I set my tupperware of cookies on the table in-between the freshly baked bread, the homemade peach jam, the absolutely delicious baked beans, and the pasta salad (garnished with fresh 
herbs)... all presented beautifully on fine china serving plates.  My tupperware looked slightly tacky.

The husband and I began to load up our plates when we were interrupted with "Perhaps we should have a blessing on the food first?"  So, we reluctantly and embarrassingly put the serving spoons back, set our food down, and joined in the blessing on the feast.  After the prayer was over we finished piling on the food, and I spotted some older chairs for us to sit in (I wasn't about to risk spilling on the brand new lounge chairs).  

Soon everyone joined us, and once I got comfortable and settled in, I 
noticed something.... something, strange.  Every couple was either 1. Toting a small baby-aged child, or 2. Wearing their most fashionable maternity clothes.  Talk about a Fertile Frenzy.  For a moment, I felt like I was in a horror movie.  Images of a chubby baby faces, then a gigantic pregnant belly, then a diaper bag, then another pregnant belly, then another taunting baby face kept flashing before my eyes.  Oh the insanity!!!!  It seemed everyone at the Potluck had managed to "Expand their Horizons" in some way or another.

It was horrible.  Don't misunderstand.  I LOVE babies.  I want at least 4 or 5... but babies aren't really in "the plans" for us right now.  So, for these "Young Married People" to just flaunt their round faced babes and baby filled bellies in front of me... I found it appalling!  Don't they know?  I want a BABY!!!  They can't just invite us to a "Young Married People's Potluck", and then try to expose us to their Felicitous Fertile Frenzy so we'll have a baby and join their real clan.... "Young Married People Plus".  It just isn't fair!

Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore.  The laughing angelic babies and glowing expectant mothers finally got to me.  I was feeling more fertile just being around them all, and I couldn't risk and unplanned pregnancy.  So, we left, and went back to our home... my mother-in-law's home, so I could come back to reality, and remember WHY a baby isn't in "the plans" right now.

The good news, is that everyone really loved the cookies I made (despite the tupperware
 presentation).  And, it gave me something to look forward to.  Yes, it WAS a Fertile Frenzy, but one day, I want to be a part of that.  When the time is right, I plan on joining "Young Married
 People Plus".

5 comments:

ks said...

Welcome to the world of being a married couple in the conservative Utah culture. If you have been married for 2 years, you better have at least one child or your first on the way. There's just no other way to do it - you know? And, amazingly, that culture does not just stay in Utah. Our "married student ward" is filled with women who can only talk about babies, toddlers, pregnancy, diapers, Baby Einstein, homemade baby food, what their husband is getting his degree in, and when he will graduate. Although they always say it in "we" terms, as in: "WE graduate in 2009." I always want to ask "oh, are you getting a shared degree in architecture? I didn't know you could do that!"

Sad - I know. I am slightly hardened and sarcastic towards all of it. But, not to worry! Like you said, your time will come and then you will show all of them what being a beautiful fertile creature is all about!

L. Webb said...

Wow... a baby... that's a huge step! If it makes you feel better, I too, someday, far in the far far far far future... would like to have a baby of my own! I love reading your stories, don't ever stop.

Anonymous said...

Torrey...enjoy the full nights sleep while you can because when you have a baby...you can't put them back..you have them forever..which is great but relax and enjoy the time you are in now. All through life there are times in which you feel like you don't fit in...(Realizing like you are the OLDEST one there) etc. etc.
I love the way you tell it though...why do people want to all be the same?...for security. If you are confident enough you won't let it bother you...which I think you are...you have given birth to a blog..yea!!!!

Unknown said...

Shiver...I am glad you saw angelic babies, I only seem to see them when they are the devil, all crying and needy and smelly and throwing up and jam-hands and getting pudding on stuff and demanding the I play with them and screaming and kicking and ....ugh. I don't want one. And I say it loud and proud!

Hmmm... I like what this Kate girl has to say, I am going to check hers out.


You do make one mean cookie. Remember when it was just you and me at some RS event and we had all that food and the Wii....those were good times!

MulfHerd said...

Torrey, I just read this post for the first time and I can totally relate to this! You have a way of putting all of my thoughts into a lovely compilation of words.