I used to think that I got my sense of humor from being the chubby girl. Whenever I was left alone one the swing set at recess, I would think "Well, my thunder thighs and muffin top are not going to get me any where in this life, guess I'll have to develop other worthy and desirable character traits to be successful." Seriously.
So I learned to be funny, make people laugh, partially to draw attention away from my jelly roll. But it made me feel good, like I was worth while. Seriously.
Now, this year, for reasons I cannot currently explain because I can't exactly remember WHY I wanted to do this... but I decided to go off Diet Coke. Seriously.
I was raised on Diet Coke. Since birth that dark carbonated goodness has pumped through my veins. I remember being in a stroller at the mall, my mother feeding me her Diet Coke with a straw. Seriously.
Maybe I'm going through withdrawals, maybe I'm addicted, I can't be sure. But I DO know that I'm one month and eleven days sober and positively miserable. Seriously.
Oh Diet Coke! Why have you forsaken me? Or is it, why have I forsaken YOU? See? I can't even think straight. I'm moody, I'm boring, I'm ornery, I'm bland. I need a Diet Coke right now in my hand. Great. Now I'm rhyming and I'm realizing that, being fat didn't make me funny... it was YOU, DC, you. SERIOUSLY.
I'm hoping things will get better. I really am. Most days are manageable, but really, today I need you, Diet Coke. I need you more than ever. I want to write on my blog and be witty and charming, but I can't without you. One day, several months from now, I'm sure I'll be fine without you, I won't dream about you and crave you like I do now. But you need to let me move on, Diet Coke. Just let me go. Don't look at me from the soda fountain with those sad and lonely eyes. I'm sure plenty of Utah women will love you more than I ever could. Please, Diet Coke. I need to move on. Seriously.
This is my deranged and sincerest Valentine for you.
Love,
Torrey
4 comments:
Torrey. We are Diet Coke soul sisters. Seriously.
I love your blog!! I must comment so you will continue your awesome blogging. I seriously love seriously so blessed too!! I mean seriously. :)
Diet Coke huh? I love this post! It's so funny. Torrey you are such a BEAUTIFUL girl, I have always thought that from the time you were little and I would babysit you. Remember those days? Thanks for the update! I love to ready your blog. SERIOUSLY!!!!
Torrey...you are not alone!! I had to go off Diet Coke when I was pregnant and I was shocked at how hard it was! I too was nursed it from the very beginning! And I think I caught a glimps of Gr lu hooking Irene up with a strawful at Olive Garden! First thing I did after she was born was a Big Gulp...with Ice... and a squirt of lemon. Wow...amazing!
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