Even MORE Embarrassing

There are definitely some items that I purchase at the store regularly that I would rather other shoppers didn't see me buy. Tampons, for one, are always very awkward. I put them in my cart and its like suddenly I have the scarlet letters "PMS" pasted to my shirt. It's true. I know people are thinking "Lucky her", "Glad I'm not a woman", "Her poor husband", etc... because, I will admit, I've thought the same thing when I notice a similar item in other shoppers carts.

It's even worse if I see a guy buying tampons because EVERYONE is thinking "Poor schmuck". Am I right, or am I right? I'm proud to say I've never made my husband buy me ANY type of "That Time of the Month" supplies before,nor do I plan on making him in the future. It's just cruel and unusual punishment, that's what it is.

I also feel totally uncomfortable picking up my birth control from the Pharmacy each month. For some strange reason, even though there are an equal amount of men and women Pharmacy Techs working when I go, the men always help me get my prescription. The reason I hate that, is because I use the Nuva Ring (most amazing birth control EVER... you only need to worry about it once a month), which states on the front of the package (sorry for the bluntness) "Insert Vaginally Once Every 3 Weeks". So when these men Pharmacy Techs retrieve my lovely pregnancy prevention prescription, THEY always get embarrassed, which makes ME embarrassed! After I pay for it they quickly hand it off and then wipe their hands on their smocks... like my birth control has poisoned them!

Of course buying any sort of medicine that indicates you have bowel problems is always fun. Who doesn't love to be seen carrying around Ex-Lax or Bean-O. Tell me you feel the same way! Same with purchasing a toilet plunger. Purchasing one basically screams "I clogged the toilet, BIG TIME"... this item is even more embarrassing if purchased in conjunction with Drain-O AND Imodium.

Or how about gossip magazines. Yeah, I like to read them... call it a guilty pleasure. But there's always that one person ahead of you in line who gives you "the look". You know the look, the "HOW COULD YOU" or "Don't you have a life?" look.

So, I'll admit when they came out with the "Self Check-Out" system, my embarrassing item shopping anxiety was greatly lessened. Sure people still see me in the aisles of the store hauling around Tampons, Pepto-Bismol, Hemroid Creme (never yet, but that would be horrific, I'm sure), and toilet plungers (hopefully only 1 at a time).... but I don't have to stand in line with those items presented on the check-out belt of doom for all (in front of you, behind you, and those checking you out) to see.

Well, the whole entire point of this post is to tell the following story:

The Husband and I were purchasing something at the store some time ago (not sure what we were buying, but positive it wasn't any of the a fore mentioned "embarrassing items") and it was PACKED. It must have been around a holiday. So we had to wait in line to even use the self check-out. Finally it's our turn and this lady just swoops in ahead of us and STEALS our self check-out machine! Seriously, how rude! The Husband and I both looked at each other in shock, and he said something to the effect of "I think we were next in line", just loud enough so that this lady could hear us. She heard it alright. She turns around and snaps at us, "Well, if you would help me, I'm sure this would go a lot faster."

This lady has long insane looking hair and "crazy eyes". She was holding a bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide and a turkey baster. We were both rather taken back. Then she says, "I've got a doggy emergency!" Ok... she's buying a turkey baster and hydrogen peroxide... Several horrific images ran though my mind when I put everything together, but the fact is, I did NOT want to know what type of "doggy emergency" she was dealing with. I was more than happy to let her butt in line.

See, the moral of the story is: Yeah, there are a lot of embarrassing items to purchase, but there is ALWAYS someone buying something even more embarrassing than you.

"Doggie Emergency" supplies, for example.....