A Woman's Duty

I came home from work the other night, excited to partake of a bowl of cereal (preferably something full of sugar), to find that there was not a clean dish in the house. I rummaged through every cupboard, rifled through every drawer, explored every shelf. There WERE a few pots and pans, which I suppose I could have eaten cereal out of with a mixing spoon, but other than that, nothing. There weren't even any clean coffee mugs (which I have been known to use for cereal and other like foods in the past).

I decided to find another solution to my problem before busting out the sauce pans. The dish washer seemed like a logical place to look for clean dishes. Unfortunately my dish washer was FULL of dirty ones. Apparently, it had never been started. I then turned to the sink, to find it full of dirty plates, bowls and cups all soaking in the most rank smelling water I've ever had the pleasure of encountering. We didn't even have any paper bowels in the pantry.

I finally collapsed on the counter in utter disgust. How had I let my clean dish situation get to be this miserable? There I was, weak from hunger and weary from a long days work, a grown woman laying on the kitchen counter. It was despicable.


Just when I thought I had gained enough energy to get up and actually do the dishes, I opened my almost teary eyes to see our garbage can, with pizza boxes and milk cartons stacked half way up the wall. Ugh.

The husband finally meandered into the kitchen to see what all of the crying and slamming of drawers was about. I was so thankful to see him! "Good, you're here! Can you please take out the garbage?" Now, the Husband has never been a cruel man, but he has a habit of loving to tease me in my weakest moments. "Can't YOU take out the garbage?" he asked.

I didn't lash out at him, at first. I tried very hard to control my boiling temper. "No, I can't." I snapped, "Do you know why I can't? Because, HONEY, taking out the garbage is a MAN's job. Are you not a MAN?" I knew, at that very moment, I had won the argument. It was a very nice feeling, especially after all of the anxiety I had been feeling up to that point from the tremendous pile of dirty dishes I had pouring out of my sink.

"You're right HONEY," he said (the man actually admitted that I was right), "I'll take out the garbage, now you get to work on the dishes." Um, 'cuse? At this point, the room fell silent. My husband just stared at me with a snarky grin spread across his face. I stared back, my jaw still on the cold tile floor. He raised his eyebrow, daring me to speak. My eye twitched out of shock. The Husband finally broke the silence, "I mean, you ARE a woman honey, and that is a WOMAN's job, right?"
I don't know why I was so taken back, he was using the same argument I had used on him to take out the trash. Yet, for some reason, I just couldn't see how the task of taking out the trash was equal to the task of tackling the monstrous pile of dishes.

I began to see how weak my argument really was. I thought, sure, I would be more than happy to take the garbage out, why does it have to be a "Man's Job" anyway? But, at the same time, that didn't mean The Husband would do the dishes. In fact, I guarantee that he wouldn't. I started think, hey, I go to work every single day, just like The Husband. I equally contribute to our household income. Doesn't that mean we should be equally contributing to the household work? If this is true, how do I help my husband see that the social norms that he and I grew up with are no longer the "norm"?

Suggestions? Opinions? All are welcome here, my friends, all are welcome here.

Even MORE Embarrassing

There are definitely some items that I purchase at the store regularly that I would rather other shoppers didn't see me buy. Tampons, for one, are always very awkward. I put them in my cart and its like suddenly I have the scarlet letters "PMS" pasted to my shirt. It's true. I know people are thinking "Lucky her", "Glad I'm not a woman", "Her poor husband", etc... because, I will admit, I've thought the same thing when I notice a similar item in other shoppers carts.

It's even worse if I see a guy buying tampons because EVERYONE is thinking "Poor schmuck". Am I right, or am I right? I'm proud to say I've never made my husband buy me ANY type of "That Time of the Month" supplies before,nor do I plan on making him in the future. It's just cruel and unusual punishment, that's what it is.

I also feel totally uncomfortable picking up my birth control from the Pharmacy each month. For some strange reason, even though there are an equal amount of men and women Pharmacy Techs working when I go, the men always help me get my prescription. The reason I hate that, is because I use the Nuva Ring (most amazing birth control EVER... you only need to worry about it once a month), which states on the front of the package (sorry for the bluntness) "Insert Vaginally Once Every 3 Weeks". So when these men Pharmacy Techs retrieve my lovely pregnancy prevention prescription, THEY always get embarrassed, which makes ME embarrassed! After I pay for it they quickly hand it off and then wipe their hands on their smocks... like my birth control has poisoned them!

Of course buying any sort of medicine that indicates you have bowel problems is always fun. Who doesn't love to be seen carrying around Ex-Lax or Bean-O. Tell me you feel the same way! Same with purchasing a toilet plunger. Purchasing one basically screams "I clogged the toilet, BIG TIME"... this item is even more embarrassing if purchased in conjunction with Drain-O AND Imodium.

Or how about gossip magazines. Yeah, I like to read them... call it a guilty pleasure. But there's always that one person ahead of you in line who gives you "the look". You know the look, the "HOW COULD YOU" or "Don't you have a life?" look.

So, I'll admit when they came out with the "Self Check-Out" system, my embarrassing item shopping anxiety was greatly lessened. Sure people still see me in the aisles of the store hauling around Tampons, Pepto-Bismol, Hemroid Creme (never yet, but that would be horrific, I'm sure), and toilet plungers (hopefully only 1 at a time).... but I don't have to stand in line with those items presented on the check-out belt of doom for all (in front of you, behind you, and those checking you out) to see.

Well, the whole entire point of this post is to tell the following story:

The Husband and I were purchasing something at the store some time ago (not sure what we were buying, but positive it wasn't any of the a fore mentioned "embarrassing items") and it was PACKED. It must have been around a holiday. So we had to wait in line to even use the self check-out. Finally it's our turn and this lady just swoops in ahead of us and STEALS our self check-out machine! Seriously, how rude! The Husband and I both looked at each other in shock, and he said something to the effect of "I think we were next in line", just loud enough so that this lady could hear us. She heard it alright. She turns around and snaps at us, "Well, if you would help me, I'm sure this would go a lot faster."

This lady has long insane looking hair and "crazy eyes". She was holding a bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide and a turkey baster. We were both rather taken back. Then she says, "I've got a doggy emergency!" Ok... she's buying a turkey baster and hydrogen peroxide... Several horrific images ran though my mind when I put everything together, but the fact is, I did NOT want to know what type of "doggy emergency" she was dealing with. I was more than happy to let her butt in line.

See, the moral of the story is: Yeah, there are a lot of embarrassing items to purchase, but there is ALWAYS someone buying something even more embarrassing than you.

"Doggie Emergency" supplies, for example.....