Radio Active and Neon Orange

WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING

WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS POSSIBLY RADIOACTIVE

PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK

So, normally, I would never write about what I'm about to write about... BUT, this is just too absolutely amazing to keep to myself.

Last night, after a long evening of school, I got home and sat down to do my homework...when SUDDENLY!... disaster struck!!!!

First let me give a little background to the story... recently I have been battling some...(OK... WARNING!!!... this topic may make you feel uncomfortable, so stop reading now if you are not a woman or don't have a wife)... urinary tract problems. Ugh! I know, doesn't it make you hurt just to think about it? So, I've been drinking lots of water and even taking cranberry pills since, supposedly, something in cranberries kills bacteria something, something, something... and this has been helping relieve the problem.

Anyway, back to the story... So, I get home last night and as I start working on my homework, I get that urge... yes, the urge to pee. I mean, this isn't just any ordinary urge, it's an urge like the urgency of the "been stuck in traffic for an hour and a half just after successfully consuming a 44 oz diet coke before getting into the car" urge. Only, I wasn't stuck in traffic, and I hadn't consumed a 44 oz diet coke, in fact, I realized, as I ran to the bathroom, that I hadn't had anything to drink that entire day! Nothing, nada, zip, not a single drop.

So I make it to the bathroom, practically lunge at the toilet, situate myself, and... nothing. Trust me, I tried and tried and tried to get something to come out... but my bladder was completely empty.

So, I dejectedly walk back to my bedroom and curl up into a ball on the floor and start to cry. Why? Because I know I'm in for a very long and sleepless night and the urge is just getting stronger and more and more painful by the second.

For the next half hour I kept running to the bathroom to attempt to "go", only to be completely let down when the toilet bowl winds up empty again and again. Finally I park myself on the bathroom floor, curled up in a towel because I'm in too much pain to go get a blanket, and proceed to moan. At this point the Husband decides to come find out why I'm crouched, butt up, on the cold bathroom floor wailing and gnashing my teeth (ok... probably not the gnashing of teeth part... but that's how hellish the whole experience was).

Now, bless his heart, I love my Husband. He truly completes me, and he's definitely the brains of the two of us. You see, not only does the Husband hate to see people hurting, he is a problem solver. So, next thing I know, he's seat belted me into the car, and we're on our way to the grocery store to find a cure.

We get in the store and he goes for the juice isle, while I head for the pharmacy. I immediately find the cranberry pills and next to them is another medicine I've never tried before: AZO Standard - "For Fast and Effective Relief of Urinary Tract Problems" (really, this stuff is good).
So, we check out and on our 5 minute drive back to the house I've chugged half of my 2 liter "juice box" and my hands start shaking.

We get back to the house and I have the Husband read the instructions for my AZO Standard while I attempt to open the annoying plastic packs every 2 pills come in. "Take 2 pills with every meal, do not consume more than 6 pills daily". So I manage to get 6 pills out of their plastic prisons, pop them all into my mouth at once, and wash them down a huge swig of cranberry juice which, yes, I'm drinking directly out of the carton.

I then pop 2 Tylenol PMs and finish off the Cranberry Juice, and finally, exhausted from the whole experience, collapse on the bed. After about 30 minutes I started feeling pretty good. I was able to sleep through the entire night, and today, I feel great!

So, I got up this morning with the urge to "go", and this time I actually got to. Whew! What a great feeling! Now, here is the totally amazing part, and I expect you all to think this is as amazing as I do... my pee is neon orange! Seriously! It's so weird. It's looks like it's radio active or something. Oh and don't look down on me because I looked at my own pee... you know you all do it too. So, I now have possibly radioactive pee, and it hasn't changed colors all day, its truly amazing. I don't know if it was the cranberry juice, or the AZO pills, or the combination of both.. but if you want to have amazingly neon orange, possibly radioactive pee, you know what to do.

PS. This post was in honor of Laura :) Sorry it was all about potty Laur.